Joan Rivers and I met a couple of times when I worked at E! Entertainment. “THE TWINS” circa Feb 2011! OMG am I wearing… GASP: HEELS? Check us out now MAKING POP TARTS! I’m still shocked she never once told me that my outfits look like regurgitated remnants of a broken garbage disposal. The dress code in the GiGi Eats kitchen! She didn’t even say ANYTHING about my Adidas sandals that have been surgically fused to my feet for the past 6 years. I wonder how many plastic [Read On!]
Joan Rivers: A Toast To You!
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Good Mood Food: We Could All Use Some
Let me take a WILD guess as to what happened to you this morning… You woke up after pressing snooze for about 45 minutes. Realizing that you’re going to be extremely late, you wrestle with your TRUE love (your lush pillow but of course) only to fall flat on your face thanks to your bed pulling a “piledriver” on you… A move that’s even banned from the WWE. After regaining consciousness, you dizzily race on over to your “trusty” liquid energizer (your [Read On!]
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A “Zesty” Take on Eclairs!
As I have mentioned in previous posts, my mind… Is like a bowling ball in the gutter at a bowling alley. And when I think of the oh so flaky, yet thick and gooey éclair pastry… My mind throws gutter balls worse than a blindfolded kangaroo hopping on one foot would. I think the French created this pastry so my mind (and yours too?) can have immature field days whenever I think about this oblong, cream filled “delicacy”. However, as some of you [Read On!]
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Recipe Redux: Lets Go Skinny Dipping!
I recently got in trouble with the law… Now while my parents aren’t exactly PROUD of me for this… I think I might actually hang my mug shot on the wall… As you can see by my booking photo, I was caught skinny dipping… But Justin Bieber made me do it!! Ugh, the peer pressure of Hollywood… I cannot believe he and I could get in trouble for going nude, but… Nicki Minaji can get away with wearing this monstrosity. Is [Read On!]
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Water You Drinking?
You’d think one of the worst experiences when drinking water is to chug a few gulps… Only to notice… Some teeny, tiny, fluffy bunnies… Or excuse me, food particles (perhaps some left over cinnamon bun from four days ago… Or remnants of the Honey Nut Cheerios you gobbled up this morning…) floating around in it. Wait, was that even your water? I know when this happens to me, I don’t need to grab a spoon in order to make myself [Read On!]
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Identity Crisis Cake Doughnuts
This shop is part of a social shopper marketing insight campaign with Pollinate Media Group® and Pure Via®, but all my opinions are my own. #pmedia #PureViaSweet http://my-disclosur.es/OBsstV Some days I wake up in the morning and think I am Blake Lively. However, I am quickly reminded that I am not… When I turn over, trying to grab for Ryan Reynolds’ man boobs… Only to embrace… Filbert. I’m not the only one who sometimes thinks they’re something they’re actually not… This tomato thinks it’s [Read On!]
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Mean Girls Is Quite The Holiday Movie
“Okay seriously Christmas, I’m sorry that [you're] so jealous of me… I can’t help that I’m so popular!” “Shove a Kalteen Bar in your pie whole, Thanksgiving. PS: Stop trying to make ‘FETCH’ happen.” “I can stick my fist in my mouth,” New Year’s Eve chimed in. At that absurd comment, both Thanksgiving and Christmas looked at New Year’s Eve with utter disgust and downright embarrassment. Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s Eve, on the surface seem to be civil with [Read On!]
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Cozy Up With A Bowl of Johnny Depp
We all have fantasies, am I right? Some of us want to run a marathon in under a two hours… Others want to feed their signature recipes to Al Roker as he reports the weather on the Today Show… While a select few of us want to go sledding down a frozen cloud, splashing into a hot spring filled with Ryan Gosling and Reynolds clones… Only to be immediately served some sizzling salmon skin by Eric Winter in gonad squeezers… Oh, [Read On!]
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Calorie-Free Punishment
Want to play a game… [I was totally going to insert a photo of that CREEPY ASS CHARACTER from the movie SAW but I just can’t… It gives me the WILLIES! If you want to know what I am talking about, CLICK HERE] Any who… One of the below photos… Is not quite like the other… Exhibit A: Exhibit B: Exhibit: C: Why yes, immediately you will notice Exhibit C has dark brown/black hair and piercing blue eyes… But otherwise, [Read On!]
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I Found My Doppelganger
Way back when, people used to mistaken me for one of the Olsen twins (true story). Now a days, people think I look a tad bit like Gwyneth Paltrow and/or Kelly Ripa. And oddly enough, I have heard countless times, that I look identical to Amy Smart, when you turn her head upside down and cover her eyes…? Well, while I have been chased down for autographs on more than a few occasions (apparently I am more Ashley than Mary-Kate), I [Read On!]
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How To Find Love On The Streets Of Los Angeles
People typically move to Los Angeles for one of two things (or perhaps both?)… Thing # 1: To be “discovered” by a big named casting director as he or she pulverize a thick and greasy double cheeseburger with his/her teeth at Dave & Busters, while tossing balls at Down The Clown in order to win the “super bonus”. Thing # 2: To find [insert hot male/female celebrity name here], kidnap him/her, lock him/her in their barred-up, dimly-lit basement studio apartment nestled between [Read On!]
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Catch Me If You Can!
HASTA LA VISTA U.S.A… Wait, no… I am French, I should be saying Au Revoir! But, I am not jetting over to Spain or France… Want to know my FLIGHTPLAN? I fly to Auckland, New Zealand (North Island) NON-STOP (13 hours of bliss!) on December 28th, where I will be bringing in the New Year! I’ll let you all know what 2015 is like before you get there! Then I soar on over to Queenstown, New Zealand (South Island) January 5th where [Read On!]
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Lil Wayne’s Sundae Breakfast, Wink, Wink!
I ran into Lil Wayne the other day when I wandered into Roscoe’s House of Chicken and Waffles in Hollywood… Don’t ask why I was there… I Literally RAN INTO him though… I knocked the “Obama Special” out of his hands like we were on a basketball court with 2 seconds left on the clock. As I tried to wipe the greasy chicken batter and sticky maple syrup off his brand new $120 plain white T-shirt “designed by” Kanye West… He just stared [Read On!]
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You Deserve Applause!
I would like to give all of you a round of applause! (Or I guess here… TWO Thumbs Up!) Why exactly? Well because… Some of you wake up at 4 am, run five to ten miles, cook up a protein pancake feast for you (and your family of six? ten? 15? Just you?), send everyone off with a healthy packed lunch (Suck it Subway!) and then you yourself trot on over to work in a sexy polished suit (or if you’re lucky, [Read On!]
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Meghan Trainor, HP and I #BendTheRules
As scrumptious food bloggers, our lips are typically always moving because we’re constantly foodgasming over our latest unique and just plain brilliantly delicious kitchen creations. Paleo Eclairs… Balls of Cake… Fudgsicles… The noises I make on the regular when conceiving new recipes (ha ha, see what I did there?) probably have my neighbors thinking I am filming ANOTHER type of video… However… That is NOT the case and in fact today… My lips are moving because I am ALL ABOUT HP… HP? Humongous [Read On!]
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Notsa Carbonara
Have you ever been caught in a treacherous F-5 tornado filled with hail the size of pick-up trucks, hungry great white sharks, sharp machetes, an angry and drunk Chris Brown and the father of all monsters in Greek Mythology: Typhon? Well if you can believe it, my parents had to endure such harsh conditions on a near daily basis until I was about 14 years old, when they “slayed the beast” or in other words: sent me to boarding school. These [Read On!]
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Once Upon A Time… I Had A Large Intestine: Part 1
Let me paint a little picture for all of you… But bear with me… I am no Vincent Van Gogh. Close your eyes and envision a girl… Laying on the cold, tiled bathroom floor… Gripping her knees and constantly thrashing about like a fish out of water… Sobbing and yelping like a dying Hyena. As she rolls in an out of consciousness the only thoughts that go through her mind are: “If this is what it feels like to give [Read On!]
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Once Upon A Time… I Had A Large Intestine: Part 2
For Part One… CLICK HERE Can I just tell you that the fun I had getting barium enemas… Was match-less?! No wonder I am no longer amused when I go to an amusement park. The best part about this procedure? The “prize” at the end of course… That I would need to have a colectomy**! Ha! Screw that GIGANTIC stuffed kangaroo at the carnival, I want to have my large intestine removed instead (oh and as a bonus, take out [Read On!]
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Once Upon A Time… I Had A Large Intestine: Part 3
CLICK LINKS… For Parts ONE & TWO As mentioned in part two… When I eat even just a little too much of anything fiber-laden or tainted with grain/gluten/sugar/nuts/dairy, I blow up like a Thanksgiving Day Parade Balloon and experience pain that I am sure matches that of getting kicked in the balls. This completely SUCKS because… I love vegetables. No that’s an understatement… I EFFING LOVE VEGETABLES MORE THAN Taylor Swift loves singing about FAILED ROMANCES… I would rather eat roasted [Read On!]
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Wine and Onesies Make The Perfect Pairing
After much internal debate, I’ve decided that life is pretty much TOPS when you slip yourself into a hooded, microfiber onesie and hit “the juice”… This experience reminds us of when we were all about three or four years old, when our only stress in life was making enough easy bake oven “scones” for our imaginary friends attending our three o’clock tea party. Will Mr. Fluffersnuff get enough to eat? To the dudes reading this… Do not deny the fact [Read On!]
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